My First Grandchild

On June 11, 2007, Joslin Freya Taylor-Powell, my first grandchild was born. Her birth was marred by the fact that my stepdaughter was being incarcerated at the time. Corey was allowed to remain in the hospital for 2 days so she could spend some quality time with her newborn baby girl. All the while, there was a deputy sitting vigil outside her hospital room, and when the time came for her to return to jail, Joslin was given to my wife to take home and care for until Corey was released from jail. Corey was due to be released in December of 2007, and to keep Joslin from being placed in foster care until her release, she requested in writing that we be given temporary custody and guardianship over Joslin. Joslin's father who was scheduled to enter a drug rehab program was present at her birth, but soon thereafter was sent to a special rehab cener located in the local mountains for 6 months.

In order to care for Joslin properly, my wife applied for TANF, which is the state's aid for needy families, as she was forced to take a leave of absence from her job. The leave of absence put us in a financial bind, and this was the only way to recoop at least a part of what income she would be losing over the 6 or so months that Joslin would be in our care. Corey wanted to breast feed Joslin, and while incarcerated at the local jail, she was allowed to pump her breast milk, and store it in a small refrigerator/freezer we provided. One of us picked up the milk on a daily basis, and brought it home to feed to Joslin, and placed the rest in our freezer here at home. This arrangement worked out fine for a few months until Corey got into trouble while in jail, and was transferred to the County Jail facility some 260 miles away. She could no longer breast feed, and we put Joslin on formula provided through the WIC program.

Although Corey was only allowed one contact visit during the time she was incarcerated locally, and the jail did not allow anyone under 18 to visit an inmate, she still was closer and able to breast feed Joslin as she had planned to all along. Once she was transferred, although she could see Joslin on visiting days, she was several hundred miles away, and could no longer breast feed. Being so far away we decided that visiting her every week was out of the question. We visited her with the baby, as that facility did not have an age restriction on visitors, but visiting hours were only for 1 hour at a time. This meant that although Corey and the baby got to see each other, and she was allowed 2 contact visits with the baby, she still had no real interaction with her baby all during her incarceration. This meant that as far as the baby was concerned we were her parents not her grandparents. This gave us cause for concern as to how the baby would interact with Corey upon completion of her sentence and her return home.

Our concerns were short lived, as even with Corey's change in release date due to her misbehaving even in the County facility, Joslin seemed to know almost immediately that Corey was her mother. Upon her return home, Corey spent a good amount of time with Joslin, but I wasn't sure this was going to last, and soon thereafter, I was proven correct. After a few weeks of being home most of the time with the exceptions of attending some NA meetings, Corey drew bored and restless. She showed that she really wasn't prepared to be a full time mother, and that through all her trials and tribulations she hadn't grown much at all, at least not in terms of being a mother. She began to stay out late with friends after her meetings, leaving grandma and grandpa to care for Joslin, and put her to bed. Now don't get me wrong, we love Joslin very much, and have even considered filing for full time custody or even adopting her, but I know that would be a long drawn out fight. For the most part Joslin is a good baby, she is now 11 months plus old, and has been sleeping through the night for months, however, my wife has had to return to work, I don't earn as much as I did, and we are in a financial bind. Corey gives us $50 a week toward room and board, and nothing for watching Joslin 6 and sometimes 7 days a week while she works and sees her friends.

To Corey she thinks she shouldn't have to give us any money at all. Now mind you she works 30-35 hours a week, and collects TANF, and both she and the baby are covered by Medicaid. In fact the only bill Corey has is her auto insurance which is $75 a month. If we buy something for the baby, she usually doesn't like it, when we go grocery shopping and we buy food for the week, she doesn't want to go with us, and then complains when we don't buy something she likes to eat. To say Corey is a spoiled rotten little bitch, is an understatement in my estimation. She talks to her mother like she is dirt under her feet, and I think she believes she is owed what she is getting, and shouldn't have to pay a dime for her room and board or our taking care of her baby when she isn't home, or doesn't feel like taking her with her when visiting friends. Corey is talking about moving to Las Vegas, and moving in with Joslin's father, and of course taking Joslin with her. Wonder what she's going to do when she finds out that it is going to cost her a lot more than $50 a week just for someone to watch Joslin while she and her boyfriend are at work.

It's not that she hasn't lived on her own before, but her mom made sure she had enough money during the month to pay her bills on time. We kept her money here at the house, and deducted all her bills coming out of that paycheck, and then allowed her to take the rest to do with what she pleased. She never really had total control over her paychecks, but moving to Vegas is going to mean that she is going to have to budget herself, and watch how much she spends on non essentials, like having her nails done, or on stuff for herself and her boyfriend, that isn't really needed. I wish her nothing but the best of luck, but my wife and I still can't wonder about Joslin's quality of care and life. If it wasn't for Joslin we could care less if Corey moved out, or to Las Vegas, but with a baby, we really do have some legitimate concerns.